Letter from God #4

I find myself so often having to disabuse humans of their illusions about me. It seems to give them a certain masochistic satisfaction to posit me as the summation of all perfections and themselves as flawed, imperfect creatures. They think, for example, that I know everything, as what is going to happen to them tomorrow. I don't know what's going to happen to them tomorrow. I don't know what's going to happen to myself tomorrow. Heigh ho! So what, you may ask, makes me God and not you if I don't know these simple things. Well, that's a good question, isn't it? One that you should be asking your priests. If the universe were a democracy, you might even be able to vote me out. (But it's not, is it. Oh no.) Another thing you'll notice I don't do is address you as "thou," as in the famous "thou shalt nots." One of my illustrious predecessors in this job was wont to use that form of address. I don't stand on formality, personally. That's me.