Tuesday, October 26, 2004
The hidden secret of pronouns
In this discussion I am not going to break down the pronouns into their common categories such as first person plural, second person singular, and so on; that is merely their outward form. Underlying this display of external difference and the multiplicity of sounds which speakers of pronouns may utter, the fact is that all pronouns refer to just a single entity. That being is what is known as the Gathnoq. Instead of standing for different people or things of different genders or non-genders, as is the common misconception, all pronouns in reality stand for the same person or thing. That's right: whenever you use a pronoun, instead of standing for that which you think it stands, it really stands for the Gathnoq. Nobody knows or cares what the Gathnoq is, and that is why we always refer to it through pronouns. But what a mutable entity it is, being able to morph into a human of either sex, or a crowd of people, or a bunch of cars or trees, and when capitalized, even God. You see, if we care enough to actually name something, we use nouns. But that takes energy. Nouns often have more than one syllable. Pronouns have only one syllable and it saves an enormous amount of money each day in conserved energy to allow the Gathnoq to bear the brunt of our nominative references. Without the Gathnoq, our economy would be in dire straits. You could say that the Gathnoq is the secret engine of this great nation of ours. In its silent labors, it substitutes for each and every one of us countless times a day and lifts the onerous burden from our shoulders of continually being named. What is the Gathnoq? The Great Answer That Has NO Question!