My first resolution is not to make any resolutions as I never keep them. In fact, making them is probably a sure way not to accomplish what I set out to resolve to do. If I inadvertently succeed in fulfilling them, it is out of blind luck and not because I actually had the will and energy to follow through on my own account.
However, in making this resolution I have already broken it, as I resolved not to make it in the first place. That proves the rationale for the resolution: that resolutions are inherently futile because they will invariably be broken.
My second resolution is to break any resolutions that I do make, on the theory that they will be broken anyway so why not just accede to the inevitable. If I have made a resolution not to resolve, I have already broken the first resolution not to resolve, but acted in accorance with the second, to break the resolutions I do make. However, by keeping the second I have broken both the first and the second: the first, by making another resolution, and the second, by not breaking it.
As you can see, it is a hopeless business.