Monday, May 31, 2004

How to do not-doing

You have to try really hard. You have to make a not-to-do list of all the things that you are not going to do. Then you have to create a budget which itemizes the cost of not doing each thing. In the case of those things that it is especially difficult not to do, you may need to hire counselors, therapists, and coaches to help you not to do them. You may need to adopt a religion or follow a guru in order to gain the wisdom, equanimity, and compassion that will enable you to control yourself from inadvertently accomplishing these goals. You will spend long hours in meditation cultivating the state of not doing. Then, having achieved mastery over the art of doing nothing, you write a best-selling book of 101 things not to do, followed by its sequel containing 101 ways not to do them. And when, after many years, you become weary of explaining your non-philosophy on the talk shows and in the public forum, then and only then will you rest at last in the absolute fulfillment of doing nothing at all.

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